We Love to Hate the Communists! But Why?

The last 5 years of Congress government in India was relatively corruption-free. Did Communists play an important role in ensuring a corruption free government? Post independence there was hardly any congress regime that didn’t have its share of scandals and kickbacks through various deals/defense contracts etc. Congress governments typically allowed the bribery culture to grow at every ranks of the government office. It was their way to fuel the economy. Over the years, the congress grew richer by the day parking loads of cash in Swiss Banks and in return giving corporate a free hand to crush and twist labour laws.

The moment communists left the government in 2008, congress was back to its old habits of buying MPs from parliament for its survival. How much money transacted between various parties for the Indo-US deal will come to light soon. Considering horse-trading as an acceptable norm- Indian junta were eager for congress to survive primarily because we all wanted Dr. Manmohan Singh to win (was it because he was bullied the previous 4 years by the Communists?). We all like to watch an underdog struggle to finally win.

It was because of the communist’s pressure that India today has “Right-To-Information” or the RTI act. This act was primarily enacted for the common man to get complete transparency of the system. But with Congress back in government (this time without communists), will that act now remain or will it be weakened? Time will tell.

On flip-side there are many reasons why we love to hate the communists?

1. Indian Communist hate American Capitalism, but Indian people love it. It brings prosperity.
2. The communists want corruption-free society, but India’s urban-elite wants it, simply because they can afford.
3. Communist want ‘pro-people’ policies, but Indians want quality jobs and high income. They don’t care about the policies.
4. Communists wanted a third front; but Indians didn’t want any of the unpredictable ladies at the helm (I am referring to Jaya & Maya)
5. Communists want India to come close to China; but the Indian military feels China is threat no. 1.
   

Communists failed to read the pulse of Indian electorate & now they are reduced to rubble in their own backyard. Now what next for them? At least start with removing the portraits of Stalin from the office walls! No one else has it!!!

When Dinosaurs Fought, the Grass suffered the most

I want to visit Kerala during the Indian Elections, however according to Indian Government I will have to arrange for 4 NSG commandoes myself because the police cannot protect me during Indian elections – since the whole security apparatus in the country is busy in protecting its “most coveted” assets – The Great Indian Politician.

Also – tourists beware. All embassies of the world – Please issue a travel notification to your respective citizens travelling to India during April/May 2009 – "Travel with your own bodyguards. If you have a pet dog, then bring your dog along with you who can help being more loyal to you than anyone else"

Indian Premier League (IPL) - 2009 will now be staged outside India. Why? - Because Indian Government chose to protect its campaigning politicians over the cricket. And how? – By saying that all this is for the protection of their voters. And you expect the people to believe this?

So this is a signal for all Indians to not venture into anything else during the elections. Just sit back and plan the safest possible route, on how you can make your way to the polling booth so that you can cast your vote and then come back home safely.

Now for the real reasons…..

If IPL is ON in its present schedule – then government fears lack of attendance at the campaign rallies, the media will cover more of cricket than the political action. It will be more of cricketer’s faces on TV, newspapers than the politicians. And it could be the worst that the politicians would have asked for at the time of elections.

However in the fight between IPL and Government – it’s the cricket loving nation that will now suffer and miss the action. People of India eat/drink and enjoy cricket.

As someone has said before, When Dinosaurs Fought – the Grass suffered the most.

Next Cricketing Nation to tour Pakistan could be….

either Balochistan or Waziristan. Simply because, by the time cricketing world (or for that matter any sport) gathers enough confidence to tour there again, Pakistan would have disintegrated into three or more countries who will play cricket within themselves. In those matches there won’t be any umpires. If a referee turns down an appeal, he would be simply shot. We can go on now rewriting the future of sport for coming months/years in Pakistan.

Seeds of disintegration had already been sown, the day Pakistan’s so-called democratically elected government approved Islamic Law for the Malakand division that includes troubled Swat region. Effectively this will mean a separate constitution, a separate judiciary and law system for the region.

When all countries including the Big Brother-India declined to help Pakistan overcome their trouble ridden cricketing ties with the world, Sri-Lankans rose to help them and provide the people of Pakistan with some good cricket. It is really disappointing to know most generous of the cricketers were attacked and had to brush themselves with death.
Instead of now saying that “We are assessing the situation”, the Cricket Board and Pakistan Government should issue a public apology to the People of Sri-Lanka. What is there to assess now, when governments have deals with those who carried out the attacks. What will you ask the attackers - “Oh Lord, by the way this was not in the scope of the Sharia deal?”

is Palin doing a Lalu?

Record Breaking 73 Million tuned-in to watch Palin (and surely not Biden!) as it eclipsed the viewership of Obama-McCain debate few days earlier. I am sure all viewers were happy with their decision the moment Palin greeted Biden – “Nice to meet you. Hey, can I call you Joe?”. She was now an instant-star. Palin surely knows how to use populism as biggest tool for election manipulation.

Populism works, helps any sort of campaign, always. And Sarah Palin knows that very well. Usually when intellectuals are dominating the stage, it takes a commoner to break the monotony, grab quick headlines with all the un-usual and un-expected punch lines thrown at so-called wise, politically-correct and polished politicians. The likes of Biden and Obama when faced with such layman's vocabulary fail bitterly at the first instance. Then having to climb down many a political ladder to be able to respond successfully. For Palin syntax doesn’t matter but magnetism does.

Drawing a parallel in India, we have our very own Lalu Prasad Yadav who uses populism on a daily basis. He always takes head-on some of the classy interviewers (Likes of Thapar and Prabhu Chawla) and they are simply not-prepared. Once when Lalu was questioned on his strategy to manage the Indian Railways he replied - "My mother always told me not to handle a buffalo by its tail, but always catch it by its horns. And I have used that lesson in everything in my life, including the Railways " ;There was silence for few moments till everyone else gathered some sense and in fact the only option left was to - Change the Topic.

It always pays to be pragmatic. People and the masses immediately relate to you, think of you as one of them. They do not have to wait for journos and columnists to translate the otherwise politically-correct statements of political orators into five different sets of interpretations and let the individual choose the most acceptable ones.

Palin is showing hence, very similar streaks of what Lalu has been demonstrating over his entire past political career in India. Initially lot was written about her blunders on foreign policy (i.e. famous one being Alaska’s proximity to Russia and Canada as case of her experience in that subject), however for the vast majority of school drop-outs politically ignorant americos it may be a case of an answer that had in their heart.

Her remarks, her views, her out-of-box methods of talking/greeting puts the opposite person ten steps back and in return she comes out as a winner as she enjoys every moment of the cameras and limelight that she deserves. She enjoys the surprised-look of her opponents and smiles all the way to her audience.

Palin may not win this time; but going from what Lalu once said - “I do not rule out the possibility of being prime minister of India one day, but there is still time.” , we may find her as the next Presidential candidate and in fact would be a good Republican answer if the democrats field Hillary the next time round.